Song Lyrics Interpreted: MMM Bop

This is the first post in what will hopefully be many more. I think my college training in literary analysis has seeped into my enjoyment of pop culture. Because I can hardly ever listen to a song without imagining the story behind it.

I also have a deep and abiding love for the greatest work of humor writing this side of Jonathan Swift, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs. If you know anything about 60s and 70s pop rock, do yourself a favor and read this book.

In the book, Dave dedicates a whole chapter to "Songs People Get Wrong," a ubiquitous category of music wherein songs have lyrics but even the lyricists aren't sure what they are. Famous examples include "Help Me, Rhonda" by The Beach Boys and "Louie Louie" by The Kingsmen.

For my generation, there's "MMM Bop" by Hanson. I remember when I first heard this song on the radio. My mom thought they were like the Jackson 5. As in, African American. Come to find out, they weren't. But them boys sure had long hair.


If you had to write out the lyrics to "MMM Bop" right now without the help of the internet, I doubt that any but diehard Hanson fans could do it. I looked them up tonight, and they stunned me. I've been singing them wrong for so long. But I kind of like my lyrics. They've grown on me.

Compare.
Whitty's lyrics: "Yes, I made it in an ancient chimney's night, but he wanted to relax."
Actual lyrics: "You have so many relationships in this life, only one or two will last."

Whitty's lyrics: "And it goes through the fence."
Actual lyrics: "And they're gone so fast."

Also, the chorus is probably just what you think it is--a string of nonsense words over a great melody and danceable beat.
Also, there is an entire verse which acts as an extended gardening metaphor.
Also, there is a line that wants to be from "When I'm Sixty-four": "When you get old and start losing your hair, can you tell me who will still care?"


The Hanson brothers can. They have decidedly less hair nowadays, but still plenty of fans to attend their concerts. Like me in about a month.

Mixed Signals

I broke down and contacted him. It had been a month. I figured he would at least want to be friends. He did.

He also wanted to rush home from his weekend away and ask me on a last-minute date on Saturday night. I said yes. I didn't realize I was so quick to forgive.

His car was playing Michael Buble when he picked me up. What are the chances that he was just listening to that? Slim. I was tickled. (Not literally. That would be weird.)

It took ten minutes into the date with a group of people we barely knew (he barely knew; I knew not at all) for the romantic tension to be shattered with a "How'd you guys meet?"

And I knew he wasn't going to hold my hand. Because he was seeing me as Sister What's-Her-Name again, even if only for a moment.

I guess it didn't matter that I changed out of that shirt I wore as a sister missionary.

Photoshoot: Ron Weasley

I met him today. The man of my dreams. He's just my height, he has a British accent and red hair, and his only flaw is that he can make only one facial expression in photos. See for yourself.

All mine.

My protector.

Dance with me tonight.

A painting of true love's first kiss.

One Ron to go, please.

Preview of Coming Attractions...

I'm going to do an experiment. It will be something like this...


and this...


and this...


and both of these...


and, well, you get the idea.


I'm not sure how to pull that last one off.

Implode and Explode

I love the TV show Ed. It wasn't on for very many seasons, but it had that zany hometown rom-com feel that I have loved in other shows like Gilmore Girls. There's a bowling alley with crazy employees, some funny high school students, and the drama and awesomeness of Ed Stevens chasing his former love Carol Vessey.

Carol Vessey had a best friend named Molly, who was a teacher and later became the high school principal. Molly is great: she's funny, she's there when you need her, she's the perfect best friend. She also is seldom the subject of her own romantic plotline (which may add to her ability to be the perfect best friend, because unlike the ever-popular Carol, you are never jealous of Molly's love life).

But once upon a time in Stuckeyville, Molly started dating a guy. And he really liked her. And she was starting to like him. And then she met another guy. And she really liked him. And he was starting to like her. So she decided she wanted to get more serious with guy number two and drop guy number one. But guy number two didn't want that, and then guy number one just felt bad.

And Molly told Carol, "I think my love life simultaneously imploded and exploded."

Which is what just happened to me. I was on-and-off dating one guy, went on a date with a different guy, and thought I liked one more than the other. But now one has moved across the country and the other has stopped making contact.

I think my love life simultaneously imploded and exploded.

So now I'm back to normal.