Wednesday, December 3, 2008

8 for 8, Times 2?

I know my deep and abiding love for Michael Phelps is no secret. (If you need convincing, just look at my Sonic commercial a few posts below.) Today I bought my second box of Michael Phelps cornflakes, and I'm hoping Santa leaves another one for me beneath the tree so I can send away for the free poster.

Anyway, this blog isn't really a plug for anything, although it may seem like it after you read the next few sentences. It's just a strange coincidence I wanted to philosophize about for a few sentences. Michael obviously made history when he (and his teammates in some cases) won eight gold medals in Beijing this summer. Before every race he listened to the musical stylings of Lil' Wayne. Now this musical inspiration has a chance to make an eight-win sweep of his own, having just been nominated for eight Grammys. Honestly, I don't listen to Lil' Wayne, and I don't care if he wins all or nothing, but maybe the Chinese are right about eight having some mystical powers. Maybe if I buy six more boxes of Michael Phelps cornflakes, the man himself will appear outside my apartment. Maybe.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Proofreading the World...One Sentence at a Time

First Edition

I found my first example of a Lynne Truss-worthy grammar mistake just a few moments ago. My apartment complex hired a company to put up some Christmas lights, so the company's trailer is parked in the lot right now. The trailer lists several bulleted reasons why someone should hire its workers to put up festive holiday lights, but one of them actually seems to be a deterrent from hiring the company at all. Here it is: "No job to big or small."

The sign should say, "No job
too big or small," meaning that jobs of all sizes are welcome. But the company used to instead of too, so it has several possible meanings, none of them anywhere near the original intention. As is, I could infer that the workers perform no job for people who are big or people who are small--only average-sized people should ask for their assistance. Even worse, it could also mean they won't put up lights for anyone big, small, or anywhere in between, leaving themselves no clientele unless someone figures out how to exist without having a mass. Good luck. This is the exact opposite of the intended meaning.

Even so, I'll still enjoy the Christmas lights the company puts up around my apartment complex and welcome in the spirit of the season. In fact, this grammatical error was the best Christmas present they could have given me. Merry Christmas from the Grammar Goddess!