Maybe it all stems from one too many listens to the Justin Bieber Christmas album and its inordinate number of references to mistletoe and all related activities, but I don't think I can blame it all on the Biebs.
I'm past thinking there's something wrong with me, imagining that I'm just fundamentally unattractive to men, even men who are supposedly my type. You know, college students of similar moral fiber and religious affiliation, experiencing the same phase of life that I am and harboring similar desires for the next.
But they haven't noticed me, and I'm leaving in a few months.
I
Like any normal college student anticipating graduation, I'm starting to look for employment in the near future. My chosen career path means big city adventure, a prospect which excites me and actually seems fairly probable from my preliminary searching. I'm going to be in a place that many Mormon women don't get to be in. I'm getting a degree, and I'm going to use it. And just to be clear, I like that.
How amazing is it that in six months I could be interning as an editor for Smithsonian Magazine, in a city and at an institution I've wanted to work for since I saw a TV special about this museum of museums when I was six years old? Or copyediting and proofreading DC Comics in the metropolis of New York City? Or writing and editing a variety of content for an online women's magazine based in the city by the bay, a song that a favorite band of mine promises could "save me"?
Why should I not be excited for that?
I'll tell you why. Because I can't shake the feeling that taking a job like that in a city with a limited Mormon dating pool is a death knell for all possibility of me ever getting that kiss. Even just one.
So for all nine of you out there reading this, all I want for Christmas from you is for you to tell me I'm crazy and remind me that my prospects for romance are only going to improve once I leave my small-fish-in-a-big-pond status behind for a big-fish-in-a-small-pond one. After all, isn't it a basic rule of most romcoms that successful, big-city career girls find true love because of that life situation, not in spite of it? I should know. I've watched plenty of them. I happen to be the variety of girl who needs validation and reassurance from her friends every once in a while. And I'm not apologizing for it either.
Also, I recognize the inherent flaws in the theory that some guy is holding my first kiss hostage. My theory of kisses believes that both parties own the kiss, so it's just as much mine as it is the lucky guy who'll someday (sooner than later) receive it. From me.
Actually, it also makes me realize that I've probably been metaphorically standing under the mistletoe for years, just hoping someone would pass by. And that's wrong, too. I have more control over this situation than that. So, unlike Justin Bieber, I'm done "waiting under the mistletoe."
Whitney, PLEASE go off and live a big adventure in a big city!!! There are TONS of LDS singles in DC and the Big Apple. It's been my dream to move there for ages, but alas, the Lord needs me here in the 801 for some reason. Anyways, the dating pool out there is awesome - and the guys out there seem to appreciate brains and awesomeness far more than the fellas around these parts (you know, the ones who seem to go for the Barbie types).
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you, though, I can sooooo relate. I barely dated at BYU, and despite a big LDS singles population in SoCal, I hardly dated while living there. It wasn't until this year that I really started dating up a storm, and even then, it hasn't yielded any (good) kisses. Dating a lot or a little doesn't matter, as long as you date that right person at the right time. It sounds cheesy, but it is true. One of my college roommates graduated single with her masters from BYU and ended up in Monticello. Talk about a dearth of dating options! BUT it was there that she had two serious relationships - one that almost led to marriage, and one that actually did lead to marriage (which happened within weeks of her 30th birthday). I remember thinking "good luck!!!" when she ended up in the middle of nowhere, but her Prince Charming was out there waiting for her.
So, you never know. Follow your instincts and impressions of where Heavenly Father needs you to be, and you won't be wrong. (Trust me, I have to tell myself this every day because I desperately want out of Utah!!!)
PS: The post-college career thing is soooooo fun. If there is one thing I'd go back and change, it would be to stop having the "when will I be married?!?! WHY hasn't it happened yet?!" attitude and to instead TRUST that it'll happen when it's time - and to embrace and enjoy the gift of me-time in the meantime. It's just barely in my 29th year that I'm really accepting and loving it, and I feel like I wasted a LOT of my 20s longing for things that weren't supposed to happen yet instead of discovering who I am and why that uniqueness is awesome.
ReplyDeleteUgh, move out of Utah. BYU wasn't a good dating spot for me, and moving to Seattle has been the best decision I've made. Just know that urban centers have lots of LDS guys if that's what you're looking for. And like Christa said, they seem to be much more accepting of educated/career driven women because they're living in the real world.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you have my permission to initiate a kiss. It can be awkward as hell, but more experience makes it easier.
Whitney, Whitney, Whitney. First off, remember that you're not alone. I am SO glad to be out of Rexburg...for reasons similar to the ones you listed. And much to the horror of my mother, I wouldn't mind moving off somewhere completely random when I graduate here in a few months. Just remember, that you are AMAZING! You're one of the apples at the very tippy-top of the tree, and I'll hang out up there with you until your Mr. Darcy/ Prince Charming/ super amazing dude (you pick :P) comes along. Can't wait to get down to Utah and hang out with you more :D
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