But I'm here to tell you that even I draw the line somewhere. Some movies are just too bad to watch. And unfortunately, most of these are the ones available on Hulu. I have started at least three movies on Hulu in the last few days that I just cannot get into. And I tried.
For instance, I just clicked on The Santa Trap, somewhat skeptically, because this one is less in the romance-for-the-holidays and more in the let's-prove-Santa's-real sub genre. It's also one of those Christmas movies clearly filmed in the middle of the summer. This one's not even trying to hide it; instead, it opens with a voiceover of "this is going to be the hottest Christmas Eve ever, hardy-har-har." You didn't fool me, people.
I thought this could had potential when I discovered the star power, but it quickly turned south. Shelley Long as the mom is at her worst; it's one of those Shelley Long roles that makes you forget that she was ever considered good on Cheers. Corbin Bernsen plays the villain town sheriff locking up all the potential Santas. You know this type of villain: all foolproof plan followed by dunderheaded failure. Basically every Power Rangers villain ever was of this type. Even the cameo appearance of that girl from Motocrossed (a movie I happen to love) couldn't make this watchable.
The lynchpin? When I scanned my mouse ahead in the time scroll along the bottom and realized that the climax would feature a scene with pseudo-spy elves. Um, no. It may have worked in The Santa Clause but only because of a perfect premise and a great soundtrack to match.
Another movie I don't recommend sampling is A Christmas Romance, which again features some fairly big names in the cast but still falls very short of producing a satisfying made-for-TV Christmas experience. Even Olivia Newton-John and that one guy from everything (Gregory Harrison, see below) can't save this one.
The comments on the bottom of the Hulu page are spot on. One reviewer calls it "a boring, hollow attempt at recreating A Holiday for Love," and I couldn't agree more. Olivia plays the single mother (this time with two daughters) down on her luck and out of her money, and Gregory plays the heartless banker coming to evict them on Christmas Eve. Naturally, a snowstorm causes him to get trapped on her farm where they inevitably fall in love. Ultimately, Newton-John and Harrison just lack the chemistry and warmth of Melissa Gilbert and Tim Matheson.
Another Hulu commenter writes, "I got so sick and tired of the kids yelling 'Emily Rose' that I switched to something less painful." Too right. One of Olivia's daughters gets lost in the snowstorm, and I'm fairly certain there were five solid minutes of "Emily Rose! Emily Rose! Emily Rose!" with wind intermingled. Do yourself a favor and avoid this one.
Trust me, based on what this blog says, I'll have plenty more to say on this subject. By the end of the season, I hope to crown the worst made-for-TV Christmas movie of all time.
I LOVED MOTOCROSSED! I haven't seen it in years, but I can't resist a good cross-dressing movie. Also, these posts are cracking me up. I usually watch a few of these made-for-tv Christmas movies every holiday season. Thanks for the recommendations and warning.
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