Let's treat this one like a scorecard. It gains points for being innovative, interesting, or otherwise intriguing. It loses points for making me question elements of its production. Overall score determines whether it's Worth Watching or Worth Skipping.
Round one: What kind of English teacher reads classic novels over his winter break? Use that time to do something other than read. Minus 5.
Round two: Did the Hallmark Channel get a group rate on prep school uniforms this year? I'm guessing yes. See also Christmas Song. Minus 3.
Round three: What kind of English teacher dresses like a Victorian peasant, complete with soot on the face, to introduce the reading of A Christmas Carol? The great kind. Plus 10.
Round four: What kind of English class reads A Christmas Carol in high school? Minus 2.
Round five: Apparently, "The Wishing Tree" refers to a holiday tradition in the town where people can leave Christmas wishes at the tree. Very Letters to Juliet. Very Maeve Binchy's Whitethorn Woods, where the Irish town has an allegedly blessed well with the power to bring dreams to life. Plus 10.
Round six: Reference to Isadora Duncan. Plus 2.
Round six and a half: Wearing Burger King crowns at a holiday party. Minus 2.
Round seven: Who is this woman the English teacher is making out with all of the sudden? Most likely, his dead wife. Too Charlie St. Cloud. Also, dream sequences are for 80s sitcoms and dance sequences in Rogers and Hammerstein films. Minus 15.
Round eight: I realize that the privileged but overlooked kid has hair like Young Snape. I think you can tell which one's him. Minus 7.
Round nine: The female prep student is named Juliet. Minus 4.
Round ten: Predictable reference to The Three Musketeers--"All for one, and one for all." Minus 3.
And that's the first thirty minutes, after which I stopped paying close attention. But I did assign a few more points for moments that caught my attention in some way.
Round eleven: A random character blames the lack of Christmas treats on "the economy." Minus 5.
Round twelve: One character has an evil villain mother who dresses entirely in pink fur and pink sunglasses. Minus 12.
Round thirteen: I realize that this movie is a knock-off of Dead Poet's Society because the Evil Pink Mom says English teacher is encouraging her son to "think for himself." Plus 12.
Round fourteen: Juliet rocks a version of "Someday" from West Side Story in a dress that likely belonged to June Cleaver. Suddenly her name being Juliet makes sense. Plus 15.
Round fourteen and a half: Potential love triangle revealed during "Someday." Plus 5.
Round fifteen: Evil Pink Mom says, "I'm not spending Christmas at Hogwarts." Plus 7.
Round sixteen: Snape and Juliet nearly share their first kiss in a chapel. Minus 2.
Round seventeen: Suddenly, English teacher is saving Snape from an abandoned building. A little too Outsiders without the bonus of the Brat Pack members. Minus 8.
Overall Score: Negative 7. So, not a great one. In fairness, the minuses do come from fairly nitpick-y critiques, and it avoided overwhelming predictability...but it also left me not feeling very connected to any of the characters--and I'd say that's the number one thing that makes one of this hokey holiday movies triumph: characters you can cheer for.
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