Christmas on TV: The March Sisters at Christmas

A friend of mine described this movie as "Little Women in a frat house." Add the fact that the entire plot of Louisa May Alcott's classic novel has been condensed to take place in the two months leading up to Christmas, and she's described this movie perfectly.

Need some visual evidence? Exhibit A, Teddy Lawrence in a toga.

That image, plus that awkward moment when Meg and Mr. Brooke have sex in her parents' bedroom (and talk about how they've done it before!) are only a few elements that make this movie a mediocre modernization of Little Women. Poor sheltered, religious Louisa must be turning over in her grave.

But for the sake of blogging, let's check in with each of the March girls and see how they fare in the modern world.

Farthest to the right we have Meg, law student who can't make up her mind. She broke up with John Brooke, her college boyfriend, to be with a rich but neglectful guy who thankfully gets very little screen time. Kudos to Lifetime for giving Meg a worthwhile career plan, but law school doesn't seem very Meg to me. She fits better in a career that is personally meaningful rather than financially lucrative. I envision her as a school teacher, molding young minds until she leaves her career to start her own family, but I know that's not a strong enough career plan for a Lifetime movie.

Front and center stands Jo, who (no offense to blondes) shouldn't be a blonde. All the stereotypes about blondes detract from her credibility. I do think her modern job as a ghost tweeter for ditzy celebrities suits the Jo March I know, always hiding behind pseudonyms, but aside from her career aspirations, this Jo comes across as entirely selfish. I can't see why Teddy loves her, so for the first time in my life I actually want her to reject him. Thankfully, her Mr. Baehr is a Jewish editor rather than a man who is twenty years her senior.

Speaking of old men with creepy attachments to young women, Mr. Lawrence has quite a thing for young Beth, farthest to the left in the photo above. Most women I know consider Beth their least favorite character in Little Women, but I think she should have been more developed in this modern version. She's the only March sister not swooning over boys like she can't live without them, a quality that the Lifetime Channel seems oddly poised to promote. But instead they've relegated her to sidekick and allowed Teddy's uncle to spend most of the movie spying on her while she plays the piano and offering her extravagant presents--all of which did not seem generous and appropriate like it did in the original.

Finally, young Amy with the curly hair and the athletic jersey turns 21 in the film and wants to be an actress, an apt career choice for the dramatic Amy. She's still a selfish brat, but she seems like a good fit for Teddy, perhaps even more so than in the original because the audience never gets to see the strange age difference of her at 12 and him at 18. 21 and 28ish seems natural, especially since her lifelong crush is only implied and his sudden change of heart doesn't come across as a desperate attempt to marry a March sister.

Overall, I recommend this movie only for people who know the original Little Women very well and want some good laughs at the attempt to modernize it. Modernizing this story might even have been a good idea, just not as a made-for-TV Christmas movie. Anyone willing to help me write a new and improved screenplay?